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  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    St Petersburg Florida
    Posts
    288

    Smile YOUR DAILY MOMENT OF MODERN ZEN

    1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
    for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the
    hell alone.

    2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
    leaky tire.

    3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
    neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

    4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

    5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
    promoted.

    6. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

    7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

    8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

    9. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
    warning to others.

    10. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities
    without your help.

    11. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of
    car payments.

    12. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
    That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their
    shoes.

    13. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

    14. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,
    and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.

    15. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was
    probably worth it.

    16. Don't squat with your spurs on.

    17. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

    18. If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.

    19. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

    20. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.

    21. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes
    from bad judgment.

    22. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put
    it back in your pocket.

    23. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

    24. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

    25. Duct tape is like 'the force'. It has a light side & a dark side,
    and it holds the universe together.

    26. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

    27. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is
    moving.

    28. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

    29. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

    30. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse
    Been there. Done that. Can't remember.

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    464
    This is wonderful! Thank you for sharing! made my zen moment today. Not telling u which of the 30 though!

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    13
    Last edited by AHS0; 06-16-2011 at 10:29 AM.

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