As a result of recent studies carried out in cooperation with the National Science Foundation, the Office of Health and Safety, Computer Division(OH&S) has decided to ask for the cooperation of computer users throughout the world to assist us in alleviating two combined problems: a potential deterioration of the shells housing computer monitors and, while less immediate, a shortage of luminous electrons.
To explain how these problems arise, a bit of background is in order. Basically a monitor operates like a television screen. One or more "electron guns" fire luminous electrons toward the face of the display. When these electrons hit, they release energy and illuminate a tiny spot on the screen, called a pixel. On average, each computer display requires approximately 500,000 pixels to compose an image; rather like the dots of ink that compose a photograph in the newspaper.
Electromagnets control the path of these electron beams in the monitor, moving them around so that the entire face of the display screen is reached. These images are refreshed approximate 30 to 45 times per second which means that your monitor is consuming approximately 1 Billion (1,000,000,000) luminous electrons per minute.
Because the majority of these electrons are converted into lumens (light) which, eventually, returns to the universal etheric field, these luminous electrons are not actually consumed but are continuously recycled.
However, due to imperfections in the fabrication process, not all of the electrons actually reach the face of the display screen. Most of those that don't are deflected on their way through one of several "masks" inside the monitor, which are used to improve image sharpness. According to the OH&S study, these deflected luminous electrons accumulate inside the monitor and, over extended periods of time, can substantially weaken the structural integrity of the plastic monitor housing.
As for the eventual exhaustion of luminous electrons, while there is no evidence of any immediate lack of luminous electrons, the increasing world-wide dependence on computers and, therefore, on computer monitors does suggest that such the eventual depletion of such particles could, in time, become a critical international concern. While, at the present, early studies seem to indicate that particle depletion will not reach critical levels for several centuries, if nothing else, our past history of ecological deterioration and species loss suggests that early efforts directed toward conservation would not be inappropriate.
This brings us to the matter of cleaning up. The OH&S study has developed a protocol for safe cleaning of accumulated luminous electrons and their restoration to the universal etheric field. The detailed necessary steps are quite easily accomplished:
1. Turn the computer off and disconnect the monitor from the power source (that is: unplug it)
2. Start at the upper front portion of one side of the monitor. Using a gentle motion, repeatedly tap the side of the monitor, starting at the top and progressing toward the bottom. This should free any accumulated electrons, which will fall harmlessly to the bottom of the plastic housing.
3. Repeat step 2 for the opposite side of the monitor.
4. After thoroughly dislodging the accumulated luminous electrons, use a common vacuum cleaner (a hose and wand type) and apply the vacuum nozzle to the holes along the side of the case. This will vacuum out the accumulated luminous electron particles and, as a secondary benefit, will also help renew the vacuum in your vacuum tube (CRT) display.
5. At night, if possible, remove the dust bag from the vacuum cleaner and, taking the bag outside, scatter the accumulated luminous electrons to release them for return to the etheric field.
Note: laptop and portable computers and those using LCD monitors on desktop computer do not need to comply with this cleaning process. The technology used in LCD screens is quite different and is not vulnerable to deflected electron buildup.
According to our studies at OH&S, this process should be repeated every winter.